STRAIGHTEN YOURSELF BY JOYCE MEYER

ACCORDING TO JOYCE MEYER MINISTRIES THAT IF YOU KNOW THESE THINGS, HAPPY ARE YOU IF YOU DO THEM. (Hallelujah!) (Yes!) ONE MORE TIME:  IF YOU KNOW THESE THINGS — AND AFTER TODAY YOU CANNOT SAY YOU DON’T KNOW. (Amen!) (applause) SORRY, YOU LOST ALL YOUR EXCUSES. “I’VE GOT PROBLEMS OF MY OWN. I NEED TO GET MYSELF STRAIGHTENED OUT FIRST.” NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO. YOU DON’T HAVE ANY ABILITY TO STRAIGHTEN YOURSELF OUT. FORGET THAT. WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS DEPOSIT YOURSELF WITH GOD, ASK HIM TO STRAIGHTEN YOU OUT, AND YOU NEED TO GET BUSY SOWING SEEDS INTO SOMEBODY ELSE’S LIFE SO GOD CAN BRING A HARVEST IN YOUR OWN. (applause)

JOYCE MEYER SAID CAN I GIVE YOU A SECRET? THE LESS YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF, THE HAPPIER YOU’RE GOING TO BE. (applause) NOW, I DON’T MEAN NOT TO DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF. I DON’T MEAN NOT TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. THERE’S A BALANCE IN EVERYTHING. YOU DON’T NEED TO GO AROUND ALL DAY LONG LIKE THAT LITTLE ROBOT I DO FOR YOU ON TV, JUST SAYING ALL DAY: WHAT ABOUT ME?  WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT ABOUT ME?  WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT ABOUT ME?  BEEP-BEEP. WHAT ABOUT ME?  WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT ABOUT ME?  (applause)

JOYCE MEYER ONLINE SAYS THAT GET YOURSELF OFF YOUR MIND! (Amen!) START WASHING SOME FEET. WELL, WHAT IF THEY STINK? (laughing) SOME OF THE THINGS THAT GOD ASKS YOU TO DO MAY NOT BE THE PRETTIEST THINGS IN THE WORLD AND THEY MAY NOT BE THE MOST PLEASANT THINGS IN THE WORLD BUT DO THEM.  YOU’D BE AMAZED HOW MANY DIVINE APPOINTMENTS YOU’RE MISSING BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT MIGHT BE WAITING FOR YOU, WHAT MIRACLE MAY BE WAITING FOR YOU AT THAT LITTLE UNPLEASANT FOOT-WASHING TASK. I SAW A WOMAN IN A RESTAURANT YESTERDAY AND SHE TOLD ME THIS STORY;  SHE SAID:  GOD HAD ASKED ME TO MAKE A MEAL FOR SOMEBODY WHO WAS BATTLING CANCER AND TAKE IT TO THEM, AND SHE SAID, FIRST OF ALL, I DON’T LIKE TO COOK AND SECONDLY, JOYCE MEYER MINISTRIES SAID THAT I WAS REALLY BUSY AND I DIDN’T REALLY WANT TO DO THAT SO I MURMURED AND GRUMBLED BUT I KNEW GOD WANTED ME TO DO IT AND THEN I REPENTED BECAUSE I MURMURED AND GRUMBLED AND I TOOK THE MEAL.  SHE SAID: WHILE I WAS THERE, I MET A WOMAN WHO WORKS FOR YOUR MEDIA-BUYING AGENCY IN TULSA AND SHE SAID: OH, WELL, IF YOU’RE GOING TO GO TO THE JOYCE MEYER MEETING, I CAN GET YOU FRONT ROW SEATS. (Whoo!) (applause) YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THAT FOOT WASHING MAY GET YOU. (laughing) YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT GOD CAN BLESS YOU ANYWHERE. (Yes!) SOME OF YOU ARE SO INTENT ON FINDING SOMEBODY TO MARRY. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?  IF YOU’RE SERVING GOD, YOU COULD TAKE OUT YOUR TRASH AND MEET SOMEBODY. COME ON! (applause) COME ON, I WANT THE CHURCH TO GET HAPPY, I WANT YOU TO ENJOY YOUR LIFE AND I WANT YOU TO ENJOY YOURSELF! (cheering)