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How Confrontation Totally Changed My Life

Joyce Meyer (6)

When my husband, Dave, and I were first married, I was a very different person. Because I had been abused by men throughout my childhood, I was pretty messed up emotionally and had a lot of wounds in my soul. Well, Dave had been praying for a wife, asking God to give him someone who needed help. Then he met me! He married me because he truly believed it was God’s will and he loved me, but he didn’t really know what he was getting in to.

My father was very manipulating and controlling. I had learned from his example that when I wasn’t getting my way, the way to react was to get mad and stay mad until I got what I wanted. I remember times when I was so mad at Dave, I wouldn’t talk to him for three weeks! When he came into the room, I’d leave it. At bedtime, I’d practically sleep on the edge of the mattress so he wouldn’t touch me.

Now, Dave is a peace-loving guy, and he was very patient and just put up with it for a long time. Then he came across a book about confrontation. He read it and told me, “I read this book, and I’m going to start confronting you because we both know the way you act is not right. And we both know the way you treat me is disrespectful.”

Then he warned me: “I’m going to start confronting you, and you won’t like it. But if I don’t do it, you and I probably won’t stay married, and I won’t be being obedient to God.”

This was very hard to hear, but I knew he was right. And in my heart, I really wanted to do what was right. I had Jesus in my heart and loved God, but there was rebellion in my soul because of hurts from the past. It took Dave confronting me to help me get to the point where I surrendered my will completely to God. And by the grace and mercy of God, I was able to change my ways and treat Dave the way God wanted me to.

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